I used to be horrendous at giving feedback

Ten years ago, I was absolutely horrendous at giving feedback.

In a previous role I let go of every single one of my early hires, primarily because I was terrible at delivering the feedback they needed to hear. Oops.

The turning point came when I started leading a much larger team. Regular 1:1s forced me to build the muscle, and to see how much clarity and growth came from feedback that was honest and intentional.

Now, as a business owner juggling three to five clients at a time, the dynamic is different. One of the things clients value most from me is my judgment and guidance. But honest judgment can be hard to receive.

So I always go back to the basics when delivering feedback:

I ask if they’re open to hearing it. “Hey, I have some feedback. Would you like to hear it?” This opens the person up to actually hearing what I’m saying, and takes them out of defense mode.

I deliver it from a place of belief in them. The stance is “you and your organization are fully capable of shining brightly, here are the specific things that need to change to get there, let’s talk about how” rather than “let me tell you what you’re messing up, I know everything.” It comes from authority, humility, and full belief in their abilities, like a coach.

These days, giving feedback (both good and hard) is on autopilot. I genuinely love delivering tough news in a kind way, because I’ve seen what happens when people actually hear it and run with it.